A long time coming....

Okay. So here's the deal. When you have four kids, time is like a commodity.  Every minute of every day is planned and accounted for. Free time is pretty much nil. There's very little time for blogs. Or showers. I'm not looking for pity, mind you, just justifying why the blog I was so excited about has sat dormant for so long.  Of course, this is a project just for myself, so for once being slow doesn't matter. At least that's what I tell myself.

Last night I watched my "baby" sleep.  He's almost four, and hardly a baby, but when one's oldest child is a "tween", four sounds so little.  Anyway, I was watching him, and thinking about how lucky I am.  Not rich, or particularly good-looking, or the smartest woman on the block, mind you, just generally lucky.  My kids are healthy, I love my husband, we mostly pay our bills (ha ha!), and I have two or three friends that I would just die for.  For the most part, I adore my children (again, rememer I have a 'tween'), and I'm so blessed--so lucky--to have them. But then I got to thinking as I watched him---what is lucky, anyway?  Isn't luck sort of a relative term?

Example:  My son broke his arm a few weeks ago.  Bad.  Like, surgery bad.  That's NOT lucky.  Nope, it's not.  However, he didn't die, and his arm is casted, and will heal in a few short weeks. Turns out, he actually landed on his head from a fall of 15 feet, with only stitches and a broken arm to show for it.  That is lucky, right? When I think about it, there isn't one bad thing in my life that someone in another worse circumstance wouldn't be thrilled to trade with me.  Like I said, luck is relative.

I've always wanted to go back to school and get a degree in law. Time and circumstance just haven't allowed it.  Someone else would just be pleased as punch to have their bachelors degree, right? Truthfully, I'm still fairly young, and still have time to do this, so why do I complain?  I'm sure that somewhere, right now, there's someone in a nursing home all alone who wishes she would have done so many things differently. Lucky for me, I'm not there yet.
  Going to Africa for a long safari has long been a "back of my mind" thought.  That 39 foot travel trailer we go camping in would make some families who've never vacationed light up with joy.  Again, luck is relative.

I saw a clp on You Tube about a man born with no arms and no legs.  He was smiling on stage, beaming, even.  Loving life.  With no arms, no legs.  Really put my little aches and pains and complaints in perspective.  When my kids are complaining about each other, or homework, or having to help clean up, I remind them of this man.  This hero.  Who, by his own sheer determination, has decided to feel lucky just to be alive.  There's that relativity again.

I guess my point is that I really need to find a way to shed a new light on the things that I consider "bad" in my life.  When I'm grumbling about loading the dishwasher, I should simply be glad to have a machine in my very own kitchen that cleans my dishes at the push of a button. And to have a kitchen over my head is more than millions of people around the world could ever hope for.  How lucky am I, really?

Today I'm almost broken with shame about the things I envy of others. The things I bug my husband to buy me.  The complaining I do about having to help my wounded child bathe each night. Who am I to be lucky enough to drive down the scenic road of my life and complain about the detours and bumps?!  Not to get all religious, but I do feel that it's purely God's grace that allows me to be so, well, lucky.  Not relatively lucky, but really really lucky. Just to be me.